At the end of Miserable At Best, when Jake does his “La-lada-la”, is the part that gets me. Every. Single. Time.
(Source: thisiswar-baby, via 123fuckitttt)
Mom: are you ready to leave
Me: yeah hold on
5 minutes later
Me: Okay I'm ready
Mom: Okay, but first I have to curl my hair, walk the dogs, watch Gone With The Wind, read this novel, cook enough food for the entire country of Africa, run a 5k marathon, write out my life story by hand, and take a nap
Teacher: Why did you not study?
Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday.
friend: you should've come with us!
me: a invitation might have helped
